Have not written a blog for a few weeks now.. have been enjoying the very much stalling Spring as and when the sun makes an appearance! Its been bliss being able to be on my swing seat in the garden watching nature begin to stir, lambs playing on the hill and tidying up around the farm where I live in time for the tourist season.
I have been trying to increase my fitness by walking my dog for longer...although this has become problematic as my dog has become so nervous of every single noise around....gunshots - fair enough..but now cars on the cattle grid, garden gates slamming, even a couple of red kites circling above! This has encouraged me to go further afield and go to new places with him so all good.
My life has been moving so fast...everything changing daily..all wonderful...hard for my friends to keep up with developments! However... a couple of things from the past couple of days....
Once I had decided to go ahead with a second surgery on my trachea, all plans were in place for my operation at the end of May...hotels, transport, dog sitter, pre op tests, after care and today I was tidying up all the letters from the hospital and I just had a gut feeling to ring. I rang, and they were just typing a letter to me to cancel it until July! My surgeon is now unable to operate during May. Hmmm...interesting...gives me more time to do more energy work, look at the couple of other alternatives so I wasnt upset! The guy on the end of the phone thanked me for not shouting at him etc...I laughed and said..no worries...there is little point in shouting at you..you cant change it anyhow!
To be honest, on my walk this morning I was thinking that my breathing had stabalised somewhat...yes I still get out of breath going uphill...but I have had worse. I was having the feeling that this surgery wasnt necessary at this point. This delay has given me more motivation to pursue the couple of new leads I have and to take action..right thought...
On another note....
Yesterday a beautiful sister of mine gave birth to her third child down under in Australia...She had posted a picture of her very full tummy the day before and she looked so happy and divine. When I read that she had given birth to a baby boy, so content I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Mother..and for this Mother serving humanity, evolution, for us all in this beautiful, natural way. With that was the bittersweet tinge of sadness for the loss of my babies and the 'void' that I feel sometimes...however..the gratitude and joy that I experienced as well.. through feeling through this sister was stronger...it was almost as if I had experienced birth with her.
Later that day I was in the hairdresser and they were all talking about fertility, birth, miscarriages etc..and I welled up..knowing that within a few moments I would be asked that question... my wonderful hairdresser spotted me and said "I promise you will be ok...you will love what I am about to do!"..which made me laugh as he didnt know I was being touched by something else. My hair was amazing...worthy of tears of delight!
Last night some children that had been in my life until fairly recently got in touch through video/skype....a wonderful surprise..heart warming to see children in their innocence, talking about 'nonsense'...but hearing and feeling their love.
Whilst writing this blog, that beautiful Aussie mamma has just posted some pics of her birth and new baby son... intense, primal, natural, earthy, divine, serving all,...birthing goddess! I am so grateful to you sister! Love thee for your beauty and service...
Namaste
X
ps.. dont forget moon eclipse tonight..and full moon! I will be honouring the moment in the hot tub!
No comments:
Post a Comment