Next door, landlord/farm have invited me to join in with the get together which sounds like a huge affair with lots of people ,food, and games - which I will love but...
Christmas just doesnt seem to matter really..
Explored the woods though for lots of lovely pine branches, holly, ferns and mistletoe to decorate my lounge! Have to say I love it.. but dont think anyone will see it..sohave taken some pics - although they didnt come out very well due to the light. But you get the idea!
Spent an hour or so meditating, doing cobra breath and chi gong exercises.. and sending healing/light to someone I love who as far as I know went though one of their fears yesterday. Very peaceful and beautiful space.
I changed afterwards into something nice for me...and tears suddenly appeared from nowhere.. the deep! Coming again now... for loss of loved ones, lovers that have come and gone, family, my babies - suddenly occured to me that the first one would have been around 7/8 now, the youngest 2/3... ideal ages for enjoying the 'traditional family christmas'... Is that what I still want? Is it too late for that? My parents lives would have been so different - I feel so much guilt. Yes but, look at my life - am I really better off than the young couple next door with first babies Christmas, running a farm/holiday complex, following the family tradition, not breaking out of what is expected of them.... Lots of stirrings going on for me at the moment... Just watching them go through... I sigh!
Woh!
Namaste!
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