Life! Like playing a game of cards.....

I'm on my night shift again... wide, wide awake in the early hours of the morning.  Got my cuppa and drawn to write something...

Had a pretty stressful and emotional time over the last week, not only with hospital visits etc but also relationship stuff.  Everyone seems to be going through a lot of 'stuff' at the moment, all the rubbish from the past being brought up into the present and causing a rumpus!    Whilst difficult to be with, especially when you already have low energy, it is helpful to be aware that this stuff only comes up in love to be cleared..hopefully for good.   Watching others' lives fall apart and go into free-fall though is tough to watch and knowing that this is life's way of giving opportunity to forget the old, move on in some way, clear the past was the only comfort really.

The greatest thing that I realised this week was shown to me by a friend - if a child was having a tantrum, being angry and saying all kinds of hurtful things to you..things that made your heart sink and your gut wrench..how would you react?  Knowing that you loved that child with all your being, would never do anything to harm them and yet they kick and push you away...what would you do?  That made me think hard.  Hmmm... I am not a mother but I felt immediately what she meant..      I wouldn't take my 'position' and point out the 'unfairness' of it all, I wouldn't fight back, I wouldn't take the things said personally and doubt their love for me... I would hold the space, tell them I loved them, ride it out until they came out of their anger...and be there when that moment happened to just bloody well hold them tight!  That is what love does. 

I too, am moving into a new phase in my life...yes, I have been diagnosed with a chronic disease, but I see that I am on the brink of learning and experiencing so much, am connecting with lovely beings from around the planet because of that.   My partnership is moving into the next phase also - where I am discovering that I can be shown new  ways of loving, intimacy and being.. where I am not so fixed in my ideas and philosophies and just see what happens when I let someone else lead the way...  kind of exciting!

I've said this a few times this week....  its like in life, we are dealt a set of cards to play with....how we play with them is up to us though...cards will be taken away and extra ones (even sometimes the odd joker!) given to us throughout our life and together with a lot of luck and chance thrown in...there is nothing else to do.  Sometimes it appears unfair and unjust, sometimes its a joy and amazing...... Its the play of life!

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