Cocooning....

It’s been so so long since I last wrote... so many transitions, realisations that I have not shared...  Mainly due to my desire to maintain integrity in my intimate relationship..which is now over.    

I had to sit and take a look at how and why I write this blog again...I have written a couple of different versions over the last day or so...re-written and now deleted.     However, there is no need to write about what has occurred, the past, my projections , thoughts, emotions or feelings.  All egoic and does not serve any purpose in the here and now.

I have completely given up, let go, put down my weapons and the fight for some seeming fairness  and justice, need to be heard – I now surrender to the play of life!  Knowing it it isn’t real – nothing is as it seems.    I love Thee..you know who you are, I love the Beloved, I love dearly all the characters that have played a part in the play....and whilst the play continues, I will now endeavour to just BE....and love love love.

This blog is about MY JOURNEY... Throughout all this transition,  I have come to see that I now need to return to fulfilling my soul purpose.. return my focus to my love of the Divine,  connection to Source and share whatever is my ‘gift’ with humanity.  

I now feel  the same inner determination and love to dedicate to the spiritual life rather than my ‘personal’ life as when  I first awakened all those years ago.  Back then,  I was so single pointedly focused on freeing myself to devote myself to Source/Divine – I sacrificed my personal life, left my husband, career, ordinary life....then a few years down the line, I waivered!   I can no longer pretend or go back to ‘an ordinary girl looking for love’.    I have tried it out, several times and it doesn’t work....that is not my path.  

Whilst I do not intend to become a nun or join an ashram..I have still chosen the path of Relationship...There is a way to integrate the two.   I now shift my focus from ‘wanting’ things in my life to that of my connection to spirit/source.    There are no mistakes, wasted energy for I needed the experience of the last 10 years or so to learn compassion and empathy – this will serve me well.

Now I have been given a wonderful  window of opportunity, a space before possible surgery to my throat to concentrate my energies into self-healing.. I am going to generate transformation energy much like a caterpillar does in the cocoon.   I have various tools, practices, techniques to work through..sifting out what feels right.. I have many books to read and maybe even one to write!  I am excited, but not without trepidation.    I accept support and love graciously from those that give and offer.

I am preparing a cocoon right now.. I will draw in, retreat, deepen, focus on myself, and when I emerge, i will have something  important to share with the world...it is what I was asked to do years ago and again I am being urged to fulfill that promise.

This ‘warrior’ is putting down her weapons, stopping the fight and surrendering to let love, of the divine fully in!

I do not have to fight any more...I don’t have to try to keep going regardless of what ‘hits’ me...Surrender is the key!

This is the transition from Warrior to Healer.

Namaste

x