Yesterday was an amazingly powerful day for me.. Woke up with Period pains..and the prospect of a days worth of massages to do for a hen party staying on the Farm. Set my meditation/treatment room up and when I began to start the first massage, my breathing got so bad..it got heavier and heavier, and it felt like the room was getting smaller and the walls closing in. Heaviness seemed to descend down, shadows drifted around and I became hotter and more agitated. I had to leave the client half way through, ended it early and explained that there was no way I could continue. I felt so guilty at letting them all down but there was no way I could physically do them.
Ironically, a friend that could have taken at least some of them over, had fallen down some stairs the day before, so I fought the urge to just crawl into my bed, and telephoned every therapist I knew of..but no one was available. Feeling guilty and ill, I considered just doing the bride to be..but really couldnt face it. My head now started to hurt, my vision was going and I felt so sick. Eventually I did find them a therapist for a few hours which calmed me down somewhat and I lay down and surrendered.
I rested in the meditation/treatment room, the shadows moved around the room..heavy energy. The back of my neck started to hurt and it felt like there was a mass of 'stuff' descending down onto me and entering my neck. I felt like I just wanted to escape and leave the planet - how much easier that would be? A couple of friends talked to me on the 'phone, encouraging me to rest, be with it all...allow and even asked for whatever was happening to be 'stepped down' to a more tolerable level. That seemed to work, the pain lessened and although energy was still streaming in and through, it was more gentle and I drifted off to sleep, hearing the beat in my ears that I often do.
I awoke and found that I just wanted to ground, went for a short walk, ate and drank a fizzy drink. I could feel the edge of the 'migraine' just waiting...but it didnt return with anything like the pain I had experienced earlier. I just didnt feel human really - my body had been taken over. My legs were all tingly, weak and sensitive and I didnt really want to talk to anybody - just hibernated.
Later someone told me that the planet/asteroid Chiron had come into play that morning (although some sites say it comes on 21st?)... I dont know a lot about astrology but it seemed important. Chiron concerns health and disease and their relationship to our spiritual journey through life. Health, disease are our teachers, Chiron calls the root cause, the Wound and says that the Wound contains a gift. The Healing journey is the process of discovering that gift. The Wound is healed when the Gift is embraced. I have yet to find out where Chiron is placed in my natal chart.
Also coming of the New Moon on Sunday - today... and even a thunder storm occuring over the Farm! Hmmm!! Powerful stuff!
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