Phew! Cosmic happenings, energies...energies....powerful stuff.

Yesterday was an amazingly powerful day for me..  Woke up with Period pains..and the prospect of  a days worth of massages to do for a hen party staying on the Farm.    Set my meditation/treatment room up and when I began to start the first massage, my breathing got so bad..it got heavier and heavier, and it felt like the room was getting smaller and the walls closing in.  Heaviness seemed to descend down, shadows drifted around and I became hotter and more agitated.  I had to leave the client half way through, ended it early and explained that there was no way I could continue.  I felt so guilty at letting them all down but there was no way I could physically do them.

Ironically, a friend that could have taken at least some of them over, had fallen down some stairs the day before, so I fought the urge to just crawl into my bed, and telephoned every therapist I knew of..but no one was available.  Feeling guilty and ill, I considered just doing the bride to be..but really couldnt face it.  My head now started to hurt, my vision was going and I felt so sick.      Eventually I did find them a therapist for a few hours which calmed me down somewhat and I lay down and surrendered.

I rested in the meditation/treatment room, the shadows moved around the room..heavy energy.  The back of my neck started to hurt and it felt like there was a mass of 'stuff' descending down onto me and entering my neck.   I felt like I just wanted to escape and leave the planet - how much easier that would be?   A couple of friends talked to me on the 'phone, encouraging me to rest, be with it all...allow and even asked for whatever was happening to be 'stepped down' to a more tolerable level.   That seemed to work, the pain lessened and although energy was still streaming in and through, it was more gentle and I drifted off to sleep, hearing the beat in my ears that I often do.

I awoke and found that I just wanted to ground, went for a short walk, ate and drank a fizzy drink.  I could feel the edge of the 'migraine' just waiting...but it didnt return with anything like the pain I had experienced earlier.   I just didnt feel human really - my body had been taken over. My legs were all tingly, weak and sensitive and I didnt really want to talk to anybody - just hibernated.

Later someone told me that the planet/asteroid Chiron had come into play that morning (although some sites say it comes on 21st?)... I dont know a lot about astrology but it seemed important.  Chiron concerns health and disease and their relationship to our spiritual journey through life.  Health, disease are our teachers, Chiron calls the root cause, the Wound and says that the Wound contains  a gift.  The Healing journey is the process of discovering that gift.   The Wound is healed when the Gift is embraced.    I have yet to find out where Chiron is placed in my natal chart.

Also coming of the New Moon on Sunday - today... and even a thunder storm occuring over the Farm!  Hmmm!!    Powerful stuff!

Musings....Hmmmm!

Not much to write this time... reflective mood right now...

all astrology seems to be asking me to focus on 'one' project/issue/wish for the year to follow... with new moon in my birth sign its asking me to initiate some major change in my life or sit back and accept whatever events comes my way.. which I wont have any control over!

you know what..havent had the 'space' to reflect/focus on what it is I want to perfect....

hmmmmm...........................

Full moon approaching...bleed almost over..

Writing this late in the evening... there is a party going on in the hot tub outside!  A group of holiday makers enjoying themselves - so wont get much sleep for a while...

Full moon tomorrow and my bleed is almost at an end, almost in sync now..but not quite!   My astrology forcast suggests that I reflect back over the last few weeks..., analyse and discard any unwanted emotions, feelings, baggage that no longer serve.  Haven't I already done that?  I guess another layer is about to go!   The forecast also said that this might be the time for me to meet my soul mate!  Well, I thought I had done that too...I'm open to the new!

Positive energy all around..I take responsibility for the creation of my life.

Much to be thankful for..................

Potent Planet Mercury...how different do I feel!

Wow...  I don't recognise myself compared to where I was last week...  So much stronger, centered, together, and well... determined or focused maybe is a better word!

Although breathing issue still there, I can do things. walk, talk to people, get on with life!  Released so much it feels...  just had my feet done by a podiatrist... amazing similarities between us.  Similar age, similar story, partner left her on Good Friday.. so many couples I have heard split up on that day!  What was going on in the planets on that day!  Good connection anyhow...possibility of joining local women's group in the next village...well an excuse for a girls get together in the pub! 

A couple of days ago, was talking to a friend and admitted my constant longing, unreal thoughts, in both waking and sleeping moments...  it was good to get it out how I feel.  Nothing to be done with it, its fine and the next day, breathing is better!  coincidence or the Vitamin D working, hormones balanced out after period, had a virus???  healing crises to a treatment I had?  who knows??!!?? 

Astrologically, Mercury is coming into play right now... so getting our acts together, bringing us ingenuity on a stalemate situation which shows a way through, confidence, positivity, inspirations...oooo all good, all good...

bring it on!

X

Bleeding, nurturing, lurgies and dates!

Went really deep into my bleed yesterday.. the pain on this cycle was intense and really just wanted to be still and bleed on the earth..surrender to the pain and sink into it. I couldnt concentrate on any 'work', so re-arranged all my plants, pots etc and felt heaps better once I'g gotten my hands in the soil.

Got around to looking at the many emails/calenders I have about the astrological stuff this week..and apparently for all cardinal signs like myself, this period of time marks the beginning of a significant couple of years that will later be recognized as the beginning of a new chapter. Hmmm!! Fate will be expected to pull some more proverbial rugs from under more entrenched feet! (I am a capricorn goat!)... what more!?!?!? I have no rugs left to pull? mm. should i have said that?

So today, I woke up with a cold coming, my nose is all peppery, I have a sore throat and not really with it. Even so, I have done some errands on town, distributed some posters for an event/talk, chatted to a few people...and.. had a date! yes, a date! Nice enough guy but oh, I would so chew him up in pieces.. he was so painfully shy. Anyway, I practiced my 'leaning back', and had a lovely hour or so over lunch.

Of course, I have come back with thoughts of the ex again..no-one esle will match up..bla bla bla.... ugh! I wont listen to all this though...its so unreal.. moving on..

Weird Day Yesterday?

Did you all find it weird energetically yesterday?  I woke up feeling really low, sad, like there was some pending doom to come upon me/us...  I went into the woods and felt heaps better, but there was this undercurrent feeling...

I spoke with several friends who all said the same thing, they'd either been crying, felt uneasy, sad, emotional etc etc...mmmmmm....  This just confirms to me that nothing we experience is 'personal'..  and sometimes, there are energetic shifts happening that affect all beings...its just that some pick up on it more than others....

I travelled down to Devon to visit friends and hopefully go to the folk fest down here...altho friends dont seem so keen!  On the way, I went through several storms...and just as i had driven through another one,  I was in the outside lane and in the distance, I saw all this smoke and haze...I knew something had happened..so slowed down...  all was calm really... luckily everyone was fairly 'together' having just gone through the rain storm...but I was the first to put the hazards on... and as i got closer, there were several cars, that had stopped and hit the central reservation barrier...

No one was hurt, everyone was walking...no subsequent crashes, but after, I stopped at the services and just wailed into my steering wheel - shaking and just feeling so sad.  The feelings washed through me until they were done... I announced to myself that life was too bloomin short..and went on my way...  (World watch out!  :) )

Last night, I attended a seminar by a man who talked about 2012, the cosmic changes that will affect our magnetic poles etc...  he has studied with many cultures, pulling together all their myths, predictions etc...  very interesting..he talked about a period of 3 days of darkness....when humans become into a higher consciousness...  there will be many openings of doorways/parellel universes etc.   mmmmm...lots to think about.

Planetary wise, Saturn left virgo yesterday (Wont return for 28 years).which has been in a period of shedding what doesnt serve us any more, letting go of the past..  It has now entered Libra.  The lessons now are about relationships and agreements..no time for quick fixes..for Saturn gets impatient with anything that is uncertain or dishonest.

I have started to get some feedback on my blog which is great...no 'fall out' yet.. which is a relief...  It has been said that I am very brave to have put my self 'out there' with such vulnerability...  I dont see that..  whilst I recognise that this is not what many will do..I hope that through this, more sisters and brothers will see that there is nothing personal and be inspired to share too....

X

Planets, the cosmos and power animals.

I looked back at some of the recent planetary goings on...  the solar eclipse on the 11th signalled a beginning of a new cycle in life..a time to act and make decisions that we have been hesitant about before..from then on for the next six months is the period to make changes to those aspects of our lives that we are dissatisfied with..releasing all that no longer serve you.. very poignant..

Someone has sent me some info on power animal energy and the meaning of deer energy which I wish to share:  (following my earlier blog)

Deer's medicine includes gentleness in word, thought and touch. The ability to listen, grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance. Understanding of what's necessary for survival, power of gratitude and giving, ability to sacrifice for the higher good, connection to the woodland goddess, alternative paths to a goal.  Deer has entered your life to help you walk the path of love with full consciousness and awareness, to know that love sometimes requires caring and protection, not only in how we love others, but also in how we love ourselves. Deer teaches us to be gentle, to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are in our lives. Don't push people to change, rather gently nudge them in right direction, with the love that comes from deer. Love and accept people as they are. The balance of true power lays in love and compassion.