Rested...Frozen ground..frustration..Wood Peckers!

Well, a better nights sleep thank goodness! Ear's are still painful so a visit to the GP for photo's to be taken! Given a course of steroids which I will take just to see if I get some relief from the breathing problems as well! Poor Milo hasnt had a proper walk for ages..:(

Whilst there, I mentioned I had found some info on another drug being used for autoimmune problems - and handed over some internet links/paperwork to give to my usual doctor to add to his research on RP. I am afraid to say, it was not received well, almost laughed at and disputed - even before I had said what the drug was! So.. not a positive attitude but I know that my usual doctor will give it a look.
I sat and cried..asking her what I was supposed to do...hospital consultants admit something is wrong but are unable to diagnose...I am 42, and struggling at times! She just looked at me sympathetically!

so, steroids ready to take, awaiting even more blood tests next week..I came home, got Milo and forced myself to walk across the frozen fields! Taking the farm dog along as well to give Milo more exercise in their chasing each other. I ranted, huffed and puffed (literally!), and cried. I know that a 'diagnosis' is not the real answer, I also know that I have 'fallen off' the vegan diet, have new herbs to take, I also know I am due to bleed - all these things have an effect!

I then sat by the stream, did my Cobra Breathe Meditation and listened to the wonderful sounds around me. The sun was quite warm on my face, stinging my ears a bit..but it was worth it.

There was a wood pecker in the woods - made me remember that a wood pecker visited my peanut stash in the garden yesterday! Looking this up shamanically:

Wood Pecker is connected to Native American drumming, they also dig into trees to find bugs and grubs to eat which denote digging into something, the art of discrimination and increased analysis. it also has a peculiar way of flying with a rhythm and manner unique to itself. all this serves to say, be conscious of flying to your own rhythm, and don't be afraid to dig in to make the best choice for what is right for you, sometimes it also means you need to drum up a little change and get some renewed rhythm! Knowledge of personal truth. Inner strength. Mentally strong.

Hmmm! Indeed, will have to dig in and make best choice for me...whilst taking these steroids to give me respite, I know I need to be looking at something that goes into my sub-conscious level..to the root of this issue... Journeying, The Journey, NLP, EFT, Hypnosis,.... :)

I dunno...but its coming!

Namaste for listening!

:)

still journeying..much to tell... but for tonight..Buzzard energy.

I was walking with a beautiful and opening  man yesterday along a river, through some fields..when we came across this bird of prey.. which I am thinking is a buzzard.  (perhaps someone can confirm?)

it stopped us in our tracks..beautiful, sacred moment..  we both gently touched the feathers, so soft... and a recent death, no sign of injury or being got at by other animals, just a few feathers scattered around..like it had fallen or something.

anyway.. I knew this was special..the wings fell around it like angel wings...that is what I was drawn to.. but my companion was drawn to its claws....powerful and strong message...   I really wanted to take its wings, but this was not practical so we said our own thanks and walked on..

I returned to collect it on my own today..it was quite a trek and I didnt really know if it was still going to be there..or what state it was going to be in.  It did seem like I/we had missed the moment..but I couldnt stop thinking about it.  It was there!  still lovely and special...  and now gruesome as it sounds, I have its wings and claws in salt drying out...  its wings spread out are magnificent...   I have never done anything like this before but I knew that I had to do it..myself..

The message of a buzzard is a symbol of death and rebirth, new vision, new beginning and purification of the mind and body.  It asks us to be patient with ourselves and be sure of how we feel before we enter the arena of our plans...  as a buzzard is patient when it tracks its prey.  It also acknowledges you are being noticed more for what you do rather than how you look, soaring above the difficulties of life.

It teaches us to use the sense of smell and discernment, and how to glide and soar with our own energy. it foretells of imminent changes.   It also teaches confidence and the ability to stand with dignity and soar with clarity and purpose. 

It is now time for me to soar above my own perceived limitations.     It is asking whether I am ready to assert actions from my ideas!

Thank you to that beautiful man for sharing in that moment...  the message of this is also for him too...     I wonder as he was drawn to the claws in particular, whether this is about 'grasping hold', taking the plunge, to dive for what he desires...as the buzzard dives for its prey...  masculine, powerful, purposeful, strength.... X

Madness? Realities and Perceptions...

There is a fine line between perceived madness and what most people see as reality.. Anything that strays from the norm of the masses is labelled and seen as negative..but who knows...

for centuries people have been cast out and even put to death if the way they live are 'different' to the 'norm'... witches, wizards, people who have stood up for thier belief in aliens, ufo's, stargates, angels, spirits, 2012, conspiracy theories whatever... been labelled as mad and mocked. People with so called mental health issues locked up ..for all we know, they could well be seeing other dimentsions that most of us cant perceive.. who knows.

All I know is that there are so many 'stories' out there, so much intel.. especially with teh web... yes there is a lot of obvious fabricated stuff too and that doesnt help... We can only do our best and see what resonates with our inner being.. and live our life as fully as possible, learning and growing as much as we can...

A big fat hedgehog just dropped into my courtyard garden, to escape from the farm dog.... bringing with it the wisdom of the female elders, fertility, enjoyment of life and defense of negativity.. all of these I welcome right now! Thank you!

weird belief? So what...its lovely to notice such things, signs from nature rather than being distracted by less beutiful things.. I welcome them!

Frogs, Toads? Magical liquids.... and moving..

Re-visiting the woods, coming home... beautiful and peaceful, allowing me to bleed on mother earth for a little while and then ceasing again!

All around the fallen tree today were loads of little frogs or toads..no idea what the difference is but they all hopped around when I turned up so I let them be. As a power animal they are said to bring great cleansing of negative mental and physical energies and an invitation to take a leap forward..

A few weeks ago, I thanked my landlady for allowing me the opportunity to stay on her land..I felt and do feel so blessed to be surrounded by such beauty.. for the first time in my life, I find that I am totally at ease, feel safe and nourished and comfortable in my surroundings..being able to live alone and yet not feel lonely (most of the time :) ) As soon as I said that to her, I realised that I might be asked to let go very soon, yes, i had become 'comfortable'...

So, now there may be a possibility that I move to somewhere less isolated and share a house again...I know that I will be able to attend more things, meet more people and have the support of living with another person... We shall see..I know that the beauty I see around me is everywhere, within me..so although it will be a wrench to move away, if its the right thing to do, nothing will be lost..but still!

oh.. realised I put magical liquids in the title... just started to take MMS..someone recommended it for me..it seems to be the latest 'magical supplement'.. I have nothing to lose, it was so reasonable compared to all the other 'remedies' out there... so watch this space.. I too, might turn into a frog!

Planets, the cosmos and power animals.

I looked back at some of the recent planetary goings on...  the solar eclipse on the 11th signalled a beginning of a new cycle in life..a time to act and make decisions that we have been hesitant about before..from then on for the next six months is the period to make changes to those aspects of our lives that we are dissatisfied with..releasing all that no longer serve you.. very poignant..

Someone has sent me some info on power animal energy and the meaning of deer energy which I wish to share:  (following my earlier blog)

Deer's medicine includes gentleness in word, thought and touch. The ability to listen, grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance. Understanding of what's necessary for survival, power of gratitude and giving, ability to sacrifice for the higher good, connection to the woodland goddess, alternative paths to a goal.  Deer has entered your life to help you walk the path of love with full consciousness and awareness, to know that love sometimes requires caring and protection, not only in how we love others, but also in how we love ourselves. Deer teaches us to be gentle, to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are in our lives. Don't push people to change, rather gently nudge them in right direction, with the love that comes from deer. Love and accept people as they are. The balance of true power lays in love and compassion.