Had my CT scan today - weird sensation. Being injected with this dye..could feel it surging through my body - warm but had no control over it. Really disconcerting senstation - of not being in control of something in my own body.. The actual x-ray side of things didnt bother me - but the dye left me feeling a bit out of it and toxic.
Anyway, feel like times has raced this week - gone so fast. I've not slept much, tossing and turning with unwanted dreams. Mainly of love that is no longer here physically - each day, I cut the chords, chop the ties and each night, they get re-attached in dream world. A sister thought that maybe I am working with that person on some other level..maybe?
So, off down to wonderful Devon again this weekend, to visit friends for some loving and a forage walk to discover (hopefully) some new plants and mushrooms! Back soon.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Lurgies, Dreams, Lions..
Disturbed night of feeling rubbish with sore throat, headache, runny nose....and many dreams..
The last dream stayed with me the most. I was sharing a house with the ex and his ex partner..all living together. He gradually got more distance until one day he said I must go..but she asked me to stay, that I was needed, that he would soften. He didnt, and as i was packing up my room, she was cleaning the windows repeating to me I must stay! Outside in teh garden, there was some sort of workshop happening..all these women were being trained how to put their heads into a lions head.. there were all these lions on the grass and the women were taking it in turns! Eventually, he came back to me (I was picking up cutlery off the floor) and said what will it take to help you leave....all the time, she was behind him saying stay... I woke up then, realising that there had always been three in the relationship, he had never stopped loving her, couldnt let her go..even though she had clearly moved on herself. He kept hold of her energetically and it had always been around...
So..if anyone knows of the significance of the lions etc, please let me know.. they feel significant!
I have delayed going off to Devon for another day... I feel unwell so will take it easy today, visit the woods maybe, and have one more night in my own bed before heading off...
The last dream stayed with me the most. I was sharing a house with the ex and his ex partner..all living together. He gradually got more distance until one day he said I must go..but she asked me to stay, that I was needed, that he would soften. He didnt, and as i was packing up my room, she was cleaning the windows repeating to me I must stay! Outside in teh garden, there was some sort of workshop happening..all these women were being trained how to put their heads into a lions head.. there were all these lions on the grass and the women were taking it in turns! Eventually, he came back to me (I was picking up cutlery off the floor) and said what will it take to help you leave....all the time, she was behind him saying stay... I woke up then, realising that there had always been three in the relationship, he had never stopped loving her, couldnt let her go..even though she had clearly moved on herself. He kept hold of her energetically and it had always been around...
So..if anyone knows of the significance of the lions etc, please let me know.. they feel significant!
I have delayed going off to Devon for another day... I feel unwell so will take it easy today, visit the woods maybe, and have one more night in my own bed before heading off...
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