An eventful week.. an emotional start to the week with the news of the NZ earthquake that has caused so much devastation. Even once I knew that all my loved ones and friends from Lyttleton and Christchurch were safe..the realisation that my closest friend was landing in that area at the time the quake hit.. touched me greatly. The shock of it went through my body..and I found myself being very emotional and weepy the whole day. An inner call to myself!
Even so, that same day, I met for the second time a man that I have connected with and his masculine presence has touched me deeply, and I welcome this new energy into my life. All a bit of a surprise really and even more so to notice my wariness of trusting a man, whether he can indeed hold this energy and remain in his authority. I am open though, I cant be anything else and trust that life knows what is true..time will tell and things will unfold.. How delightful that is!
All in all, a week of loving and reminders of how precious our experience as a human being is...we dont get that long really..so no point in holding back or waiting.
For those of you that are drawn and able to help support the wonderful work that friends are doing in Christchurch, there is a link to a donation page. They are travelling to the rescue centres in their double decker red bus and distributing hot chocolate and chocolate as well as offering massage, hugs and healing. Check them out at the following link: http://www.shechocolat.com/
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Friday, 25 February 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
Yearning of Woman..Aloneness.
I posted a music video on my facebook page yesterday - its a song written by a man, who talks of ‘holding’ woman in a tender, beautiful way. The link is below.
It has prompted some Sisters to write to me and a couple have posted on my wall with their tears, pain and fear that there are no men that are really committed to a deeper way of living and loving.
Much pain, sadness around the feminine principle it seems...sudden death of their beloved, sudden walk out of family home, years of not being met in a deep place, hurt by abuse, lack of commitment etc.. these are some of the ‘stories’ I have heard this week.
The feminine principle yearns to be met by true man who is committed to a deeper way of living and loving. She fears that there just aren’t men out there...tired of opening, giving of love to be disillusioned again and again. This particular song was written by Man and passed onto me by Man!
Aloneness – in the human form this comes and goes, a cycle, a fact of life. Maybe our challenge as Woman is to not close down when we have no physical beloved. She can use these times of aloneness to go deeper into her inner love. For me, I meditate, hold a tree as if it were my lover. Give it and the Earth your love and passion..breathe deep and you will feel the energy go through your body – see what happens next!
Eat well, dance, sing, read, enjoy nature, paint, draw, write..do anything that is creative...anything that you enjoy with a passion.....
With grace maybe that physical form will show up... if we are surrendered and open then that Man has an opportunity to meet us fully. I have written a few times of my sadness, despair, heartache and not perfect in all of this but I have never given up. I trust..
Love and tender hugs to all beautiful Sisters....
It has prompted some Sisters to write to me and a couple have posted on my wall with their tears, pain and fear that there are no men that are really committed to a deeper way of living and loving.
Much pain, sadness around the feminine principle it seems...sudden death of their beloved, sudden walk out of family home, years of not being met in a deep place, hurt by abuse, lack of commitment etc.. these are some of the ‘stories’ I have heard this week.
The feminine principle yearns to be met by true man who is committed to a deeper way of living and loving. She fears that there just aren’t men out there...tired of opening, giving of love to be disillusioned again and again. This particular song was written by Man and passed onto me by Man!
Aloneness – in the human form this comes and goes, a cycle, a fact of life. Maybe our challenge as Woman is to not close down when we have no physical beloved. She can use these times of aloneness to go deeper into her inner love. For me, I meditate, hold a tree as if it were my lover. Give it and the Earth your love and passion..breathe deep and you will feel the energy go through your body – see what happens next!
Eat well, dance, sing, read, enjoy nature, paint, draw, write..do anything that is creative...anything that you enjoy with a passion.....
With grace maybe that physical form will show up... if we are surrendered and open then that Man has an opportunity to meet us fully. I have written a few times of my sadness, despair, heartache and not perfect in all of this but I have never given up. I trust..
Love and tender hugs to all beautiful Sisters....
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Aches, Pains, Nature and pig massage!
Not sure what to entitle this entry? Anyway, after sitting in satsang with Bernie Prior last night, went home with the onset of a migraine/headache thing...it continued all night and this morning when I awoke, I felt like I had been hit by a bus! The back of my neck was so painful... a friend of mine who I spoke to later was experiencing the same thing...
So, I took the dogs into the wood, and allowed myself to be held by the trees, placing my spine and head against the bark, and closing my eyes. Feeling the pain intensify and seemingly get worse.. So I sat and just listened to the birds and the water in the stream, noticing butterflies and ladybirds going about their business.
As I left the woods, I picked some peppermint for some tea and felt much better but tired. Going through the orchard, one of the pigs started to follow me and nudge me gently (freaking Milo out!), until I stopped, and she lay down asking me for a massage - I obliged and she drifted off into pig dream land! Beautiful Lady!
I've just opened my door to the sunshine, and there are loads of butterflies on the last of my buddlia. I am so grateful for life.
I had a brief conversation with someone from the farm today...he was joking (well half joking) about his relationship wtih his wife...saying that he had had to cook his own breakfast etc... I cant remember what I said but he looked at me..and said, there is no magic in our marriage any more.... that hit me..and I replied, well its up to you to show your wife, love her.. and he replied.. no, I have given up! God, so sad... these comments were made in jest but there is a seriousness to them too.... they are from a different generation, where making do, just 'living' a day to day ..well just existing! the whole thing really struck me...how different I am endevouring to live and demand....
So, I took the dogs into the wood, and allowed myself to be held by the trees, placing my spine and head against the bark, and closing my eyes. Feeling the pain intensify and seemingly get worse.. So I sat and just listened to the birds and the water in the stream, noticing butterflies and ladybirds going about their business.
As I left the woods, I picked some peppermint for some tea and felt much better but tired. Going through the orchard, one of the pigs started to follow me and nudge me gently (freaking Milo out!), until I stopped, and she lay down asking me for a massage - I obliged and she drifted off into pig dream land! Beautiful Lady!
I've just opened my door to the sunshine, and there are loads of butterflies on the last of my buddlia. I am so grateful for life.
I had a brief conversation with someone from the farm today...he was joking (well half joking) about his relationship wtih his wife...saying that he had had to cook his own breakfast etc... I cant remember what I said but he looked at me..and said, there is no magic in our marriage any more.... that hit me..and I replied, well its up to you to show your wife, love her.. and he replied.. no, I have given up! God, so sad... these comments were made in jest but there is a seriousness to them too.... they are from a different generation, where making do, just 'living' a day to day ..well just existing! the whole thing really struck me...how different I am endevouring to live and demand....
Monday, 16 August 2010
Powerful women, flavours of dance, Kali!
Energies abound in the night...couldnt sleep and so it seems neither did some of my sisters!
Its amazing and humbling to share with sisters experiencing pain from what seems to be a loss of love, whether through separation, death or illness... similar flavours of the same dance. Its through this dance, ever deepening journey which is what allows us as women to reconnect with the source directly, feel and know that love directly with the beloved, regardless of the external play.
We are truly powerful women! We all have our own way of fulfilling this deep desire, to be fulfilled completely... and we truly already know that we cannot be separate from love for we are that. I once lay next to the shell of the man that had once met me in divine union... the shape of the man was still there, but He was gone... it hurt, there was such longing for what had been, attachment to the past and unwillingness to accept what was in the present... for me, I lay in the darkness, placed my hand on my heart and abdoman, and breathed... breathed in love, consciousness and breathed out...closing my eyes and sinking into the sensation..I was not alone, I was never alone... I am love and connected to source directly...grateful to have had the expeirence of divine union..some never have or will ahve that direct knowledge!
And I have already written about connecting again through nature, through choosing a tree and melting into that that way...truly blessed we are!
however, we are in a physical human form, we are having a human experience..and we do feel emotions that need not be dismissed as in some teachings.. they are there to show us something real.. the difference is is that if we are conscious of what they showing us, then we dont get hooked into them or dwell/sink and lose ourselves in them. Surely that is more real than denying that they even exist - which to me is another sneaky form of ego?
There are ways that we can love ourselves physically, in our human bodies; it may be through meditation, music, dance, song, loving nature, hugging trees, healing, massage, sorting papers/files, cleaning windows, doing our nails, sorting our jewellery, gardening, making something....sisters, go now, write a list of everything you want to do... everything. on one sheet..not prioritise it, or put it into categories,,just list them. And then take pleasure in going to that list when you have 'moments' and choosing something to do off that list.... and then crossing it out when done! Its wonderful and satisfying...
Onto where I currently am on this journey; I am being 'seen', being loved from afar, being pursued, being wooed...and it is wonderful! My ears have not heard such devotion to She for a while... I am also being seen as Kali..one that is capable of taking her knife of truth and dispensing with anything less with directness , honesty and love. That is scary for man that approaches.. he must have the courage and strength to face her directly and be willing to die for She.. She is patient and surrendered.
I welcome and honour man that takes that step..
Its amazing and humbling to share with sisters experiencing pain from what seems to be a loss of love, whether through separation, death or illness... similar flavours of the same dance. Its through this dance, ever deepening journey which is what allows us as women to reconnect with the source directly, feel and know that love directly with the beloved, regardless of the external play.
We are truly powerful women! We all have our own way of fulfilling this deep desire, to be fulfilled completely... and we truly already know that we cannot be separate from love for we are that. I once lay next to the shell of the man that had once met me in divine union... the shape of the man was still there, but He was gone... it hurt, there was such longing for what had been, attachment to the past and unwillingness to accept what was in the present... for me, I lay in the darkness, placed my hand on my heart and abdoman, and breathed... breathed in love, consciousness and breathed out...closing my eyes and sinking into the sensation..I was not alone, I was never alone... I am love and connected to source directly...grateful to have had the expeirence of divine union..some never have or will ahve that direct knowledge!
And I have already written about connecting again through nature, through choosing a tree and melting into that that way...truly blessed we are!
however, we are in a physical human form, we are having a human experience..and we do feel emotions that need not be dismissed as in some teachings.. they are there to show us something real.. the difference is is that if we are conscious of what they showing us, then we dont get hooked into them or dwell/sink and lose ourselves in them. Surely that is more real than denying that they even exist - which to me is another sneaky form of ego?
There are ways that we can love ourselves physically, in our human bodies; it may be through meditation, music, dance, song, loving nature, hugging trees, healing, massage, sorting papers/files, cleaning windows, doing our nails, sorting our jewellery, gardening, making something....sisters, go now, write a list of everything you want to do... everything. on one sheet..not prioritise it, or put it into categories,,just list them. And then take pleasure in going to that list when you have 'moments' and choosing something to do off that list.... and then crossing it out when done! Its wonderful and satisfying...
Onto where I currently am on this journey; I am being 'seen', being loved from afar, being pursued, being wooed...and it is wonderful! My ears have not heard such devotion to She for a while... I am also being seen as Kali..one that is capable of taking her knife of truth and dispensing with anything less with directness , honesty and love. That is scary for man that approaches.. he must have the courage and strength to face her directly and be willing to die for She.. She is patient and surrendered.
I welcome and honour man that takes that step..
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