A weekend in Devon with friends and a foraging walk - wonderful walk, learned so much..amazing how many 'greens' there are still to eat around.. So grateful for having learned about this group.. didnt get to go to the seaside this trip but did go to Dartmoor for a walk - bloomin cold but beautiful! Dancing on Saturday night - trying to clear my head of thoughts and mitherings, endeavouring to be present and meet new people...bumped into a close friend of the ex - bittersweet. Brought up so many emotions! I feel that we have a lot in common but there is that link to the 'past'... the universe really knows how to play games! Every time I cut a chord, release an attachment, something comes in to re do..
Today, a long drive today to meet up with my herbalist in North Wales. Beautiful journey in the main, lovely Autumn colours, crisp sunshine but a biting cold wind. Went through the highest village in Wales - there was snow on the road!!! Only for a few yards..but still! Snow on the mountains in the distance - beautiful!
And as Milo was so patient with me on the drive, and sitting in the car on the Tesco's car park for a while...I took him to the beach for a run! Lovely!
Showing posts with label Dog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dog. Show all posts
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Saturday, 31 July 2010
Malvern Hills...
I took Milo somewhere different for his walk today, we drove to the Malverns and walked over two of the peaks for several hours. It was wonderful, freeing..meeting lots of other people with their dogs, sitting watching the views and playing stick with Milo.
I didnt feel alone or in pain..just free. Had a bit of a realisation though and reminder of the meditation/journey I did the other day, where I met me as a young woman in the cave..trying to hide with her white dress on. Several times, some guys who were running past us, and whilst I controlled Milo, the lead guy would say thanks and nod.. on the second time, he said we meet again..and you know I couldnt look up, I just nodded and concentrated on Milo! Ugh!
So after giving myself a good talking to internally, the next time they passed, he said again, you see, we meet again! This time, I literally forced my head up and replied back to him..but this time, knew I hadnt smiled! So again, gave myslef another talking to and on the third occasion, tried to do the whole lot - I did for a second maybe! Now, this guy was only being friendly, nothing in it but it showed me .. God, I feel like a little girl.. that little girl that is trying desperately to fit in, blend in, not be noticed and yet she yearns to be met in the divine so deeply! She has to trust.. and be open...
Anyway, as I write that little story, it made me smile! hey.. it almost feels like I am a teenager again.. nowt wrong with that. I just need to practice!!!!
X
I didnt feel alone or in pain..just free. Had a bit of a realisation though and reminder of the meditation/journey I did the other day, where I met me as a young woman in the cave..trying to hide with her white dress on. Several times, some guys who were running past us, and whilst I controlled Milo, the lead guy would say thanks and nod.. on the second time, he said we meet again..and you know I couldnt look up, I just nodded and concentrated on Milo! Ugh!
So after giving myself a good talking to internally, the next time they passed, he said again, you see, we meet again! This time, I literally forced my head up and replied back to him..but this time, knew I hadnt smiled! So again, gave myslef another talking to and on the third occasion, tried to do the whole lot - I did for a second maybe! Now, this guy was only being friendly, nothing in it but it showed me .. God, I feel like a little girl.. that little girl that is trying desperately to fit in, blend in, not be noticed and yet she yearns to be met in the divine so deeply! She has to trust.. and be open...
Anyway, as I write that little story, it made me smile! hey.. it almost feels like I am a teenager again.. nowt wrong with that. I just need to practice!!!!
X
Friday, 30 July 2010
Deepening...Sparkles abound!
Been listening to new music today..and discovering some amazing lyrics.. seemed all appropriate and for me..but it didnt bring up much pain or sadness... just thankfulness for life.
A wise woman has told me some more of the significance of the dead crow I came across the other day.. it represents dark, kali energy...nothing to fear and she pointed out that becuase it still had the spinal cord trailing, which I particularly noticed, this represented the kundalini energy... All resonates.
The fallout from writing this way has begun, I'm surprised it has taken this long..but it seems that some of those in my life just cannot stand the openness or honesty that I live by, or they project onto me all manner of labels and conditions on to me, based on their position, their fears, their status quo. It did for a few minutes get me into doubting me.. but the positive feedback I have had has helped counter that.. I dont judge anyone, love all and trust.
Today, I allowed the dogs to walk me through the woods... I explored new areas, they led over many obstacles..and we followed the brook to the top of the hill..where I could view the valley below and the Malverns in the distance... Its been a while since I sat at the top of the hill...amazing beauty surrounds me here.
A tree that has the stream coming through the roots called me..and I touched the trunk, it was so warm.. it seemed to pulse under my touch... and I lay my back against the moss to soak in the energy. I then lay down on the half of the fallen tree, which is on teh ground... above, there is a clearing in teh foliage, and I can see the sky.. but as I look through the sky.. It became brighter and brigher..with hundreds of tiny flecks of light, darting around, like specks of dust in the sunlight.
Amazing, spectacular light show.. beautiful..I kept having to close my eyes, becuase after a while, they woudl hurt.. but when I opened them again, there they would be again. Each time I closed my eyes, I felt this pulse and the shadow/light pulsed in my 'eyelids'... This was very different to my more 'cosmic' experiences..where I getplunged through the stars and planets into the blackness, nothingness, ...this was pure light...the little particles of sparkles dancing around in a very light blue hue... beautiful!
A wise woman has told me some more of the significance of the dead crow I came across the other day.. it represents dark, kali energy...nothing to fear and she pointed out that becuase it still had the spinal cord trailing, which I particularly noticed, this represented the kundalini energy... All resonates.
The fallout from writing this way has begun, I'm surprised it has taken this long..but it seems that some of those in my life just cannot stand the openness or honesty that I live by, or they project onto me all manner of labels and conditions on to me, based on their position, their fears, their status quo. It did for a few minutes get me into doubting me.. but the positive feedback I have had has helped counter that.. I dont judge anyone, love all and trust.
Today, I allowed the dogs to walk me through the woods... I explored new areas, they led over many obstacles..and we followed the brook to the top of the hill..where I could view the valley below and the Malverns in the distance... Its been a while since I sat at the top of the hill...amazing beauty surrounds me here.
A tree that has the stream coming through the roots called me..and I touched the trunk, it was so warm.. it seemed to pulse under my touch... and I lay my back against the moss to soak in the energy. I then lay down on the half of the fallen tree, which is on teh ground... above, there is a clearing in teh foliage, and I can see the sky.. but as I look through the sky.. It became brighter and brigher..with hundreds of tiny flecks of light, darting around, like specks of dust in the sunlight.
Amazing, spectacular light show.. beautiful..I kept having to close my eyes, becuase after a while, they woudl hurt.. but when I opened them again, there they would be again. Each time I closed my eyes, I felt this pulse and the shadow/light pulsed in my 'eyelids'... This was very different to my more 'cosmic' experiences..where I getplunged through the stars and planets into the blackness, nothingness, ...this was pure light...the little particles of sparkles dancing around in a very light blue hue... beautiful!
Monday, 5 July 2010
mmmmmmm!
Today, feeling 'not really here'.... head is swimmy, if I close my eyes, I swirl and swirl.....falling deeper... body is still coming to its bleed..stopping and starting... endeavouring to let go!
Writing this is somehow, keeping me more present..
Went for a short walk into the woods with Milo...whilst I rested I watched him take great delight in playing with a stick he found by the split tree. He was chewing it, tossing it around, pawing it so it moves..and prancing around with his tail high! Made me smile... and then.. he would catch me watching him. He would get self-conscious and stop and look all nervous!
Surely thats not a natural state for a dog? self-consciousness is something us humans have learned. It felt a shame...am animal, meant to be so free and untethered, having learned a human characteristic.. or maybe I was just seeing something that wasnt there.
Anyway...when I turned away, he would remember his stick and start up his game again.
A gentle walk back..in the sunshine, picking fresh cherries and raspberries for breakfast....mmmmm!
Writing this is somehow, keeping me more present..
Went for a short walk into the woods with Milo...whilst I rested I watched him take great delight in playing with a stick he found by the split tree. He was chewing it, tossing it around, pawing it so it moves..and prancing around with his tail high! Made me smile... and then.. he would catch me watching him. He would get self-conscious and stop and look all nervous!
Surely thats not a natural state for a dog? self-consciousness is something us humans have learned. It felt a shame...am animal, meant to be so free and untethered, having learned a human characteristic.. or maybe I was just seeing something that wasnt there.
Anyway...when I turned away, he would remember his stick and start up his game again.
A gentle walk back..in the sunshine, picking fresh cherries and raspberries for breakfast....mmmmm!
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