Dark Clear Black Skies to Bright Clear Blue Skies!

I'm sitting here at my desk, next to the open door, sunshine pouring in...birds a singing! Its the first time this year I've been able to have the door open whilst sat here. bliss!

Yesterday, I was in a funny space... had had a brilliant day working at a client's offices...and came back to my cottage and Milo feeling particularly lonely..I just wanted to share with another human being! So, I made a meal for one, sat listening to music, feeling ..well... is this it!

Someone on FB chat sent me words to describe what they saw in me:

"I see a strong woman who knows herself, celabrates being who she is, fights off illness and is obviously bright and interesting, she has theough circumstances ened up on her own (with Milo)..but there she is calm and it seems serene maybe, living in the countryside, working, meditating, searching and embracing all that surrounds her. She is in control of her world and can do just as she pleases..she obviously is a good person and attracts likewise people around her..."

I am blessed...I do know that.. but do still yearn for the embodiment of love in human form. That love is inside me, in all things... no need to search..

Last night, I sat outside, under the clear skies...so many bright stars above...it was wonderful. I listened to the sounds of the sheep and their lambs, an owl and the fish plopping in the lake.. yes I am lucky to be where I am, who I am at this point in my evolution!

Bleeding in the night..at last it has come. Releasing and cleansing...surrendering it to the earth. Today was clear blue skies, glorious sunshine and a freshness in the air..so I take Milo into the sacred woods..first time in ages.. I struggled up the hill a bit.. but it was so worth it. Met my guardian trees - reconnected..lay against the Mother tree, allowing her to embrace me.. and then lay on the fallen half trunk.. listening to the buzzard, woodpecker and little birds and sinking into the blue sky! Amazing..feeling so glad to be alive!

Namaste.

X

Sacred Woods...Cosmic Waves

A friend has been with me for a few days and we have been in the woods by my cottage for some hours.. exploring and connecting with mother..  I attach some more pics of new trees found.. one of which my friend named the 'bliss' tree... its the one where two trees are joined at the trunk as if in divine union, lovemaking...

today, I awoke feeling very toxic and went for a walk with the dogs into the woods..  I shared the Ilahinoor with my friend which seemed to integrate some of the cosmic waves being experienced at this time..my headache lessened and my eyes felt like they had been cleaned!

When I did the movements around my friend, she lay against the trunk of a tree.. and I saw how she merged with the tree trunk..allowing the energies from cosmos to come down through her body into the earth.. amazingly powerful...and potent.

Autumn around the corner...misty woods...skipping!

What an amazingly beautiful morning here in the Teme Valley.....

The sun is watery, clear blue skies, and a mist rising from the valley's....surrounding everything in mystery...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Just come back from walking in the wonderful woods..magical.. sunlight filtering through the trees...  lay against one of the oak trees and it was like she was holding me, nurturing me into her breasts....  I then lay my spine against another..and again, ecstatic energy flowing through.... so amazing to feel and breathe..  (yes i said breathe..)   and then I shared my blood with the moss, the bark, the forest floor....sweet.

and..you know what I did today... I skipped... skipped through the woods.. laughing...  I felt so free... and in love.. with life!  havent done that for such a long time..since I was little girl...  wonderful, awesome, magical....

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Nourished from the woods...

I have just retuned to the beloved woods at home....like returning to my real home..within and in the outer...

I sobbed into the trunk of the 'mother' tree and the 'father' tree...wailing in release of this pain...so primal and earthy..and so right somehow..  It didnt last long, as I careesed the curves of the trunk, its different forms of bark and moss...I became more centred and willed for more release of this pain into the cosmos..

it passed through...and the sunshine glimmered through the leaves..welcoming me into the new..unknown... asking me to let go with love and acceptance for what is.. for it is the will of life itself, I...

As I meditated in the gentle light, I noticed several times a sort of an eye, in the corner... with movement inside it... but as soon as I  'noticed' it or 'acknowledged' it with a thought, it disappeared... 

The tears are an indulgence of my ego..not getting what it wants..an attachment to the body/mind, pain..rather than true knowing...

I realise that all this 'dating game' has shown me time and time again that I truly dont want the 'ordinary, mundane life'...with comfort and security...when I am offered it, I refuse it for I know it will kill me.   With this love that has parted from me, there was an opportunity for the 'ordinary' to be transformed into the 'extra ordinary'....there was a glimpse that has not been fulfilled... this is what is so painful and to die to.

After a while in the woods, I bathed my feet in the stream....allowing its waters to flow through and around me.  I raised my arms to lift the veil, it was blissful...welcoming in the new, the as yet unknown...and releaseing the pain, old stuck energies through my soles.    As my eyes were closed, the eye returned, bigger and all encompassing...  this is who I truly am.

I see that I have 'tempered' who I am, set up a whole new profile page to hide my self and this blog from some others...its made it complicated and unreal somehow in the 'hope' that man will take the tiny steps into the unknown with me..rather than have to take a great leap!   But I cannot do that....I cannot use ego to appear to assist another in their journey..  their journey is theirs alone...it has to be all alone, all one!  He might just have to take the giant leap!

So, now I am sitting with whether to merge my profiles and make this more public to all my contacts not just those that I beleive will get it....  its personal but its not...but I also have to consider the feelings of others...mmmmmm!

Its just started to pour with rain here.... my door is open...and the newness of life the rain drops come in..  also smile as so many 'tears' have fallen like raindrops around the world from the scores of women suffering with heartache right now...  the tears like the rain..can transform and bring in the new..