Came back from a wonderful week away to find a load of bees in my bedroom...some were flying, many were just crawling around near the window, on the bedding, the floor everywhere.. a surprise to say the least and slightly alarming!
Having just picked up a friend that was staying with me, I didnt know what to do.. I felt myself get stressed, worked up..panicky but overall I knew it would be fine - I had other options of places to stay. It was almost looking down at someone else panicking and yet I couldnt change it. I couldnt make any decisions about what to do..I just wanted someone else to tell me what to do, where to go.. In the middle of getting landlord help, neighbours, friends, bee keeper, pest control, even advice from the 'census collector' - I spotted that there was a dead sparrow in front of my car. I hadnt hit it, my car had been parked there all week! Ugh... so many symbols and signs maybe?
When animal messengers want to get our attention, they arrive in large nunbers - looking up bee energy, they are a sign of passion, progress, feritility and sexuality! In my bedroom - of course! :) The dead bird? not so good maybe - a sign of coming disappointments, worry! :( A shamanic friend foretells that it is a sign to move on, out of this cottage to pastures new.... hmmmm...
Then yesterday, we spotted that a lamb had got it self caught on a wire fence after visiting the chickens it appears - it was stangling itself.. it must have been there most of the day, it was so cold to the touch. It took three of us to release it, gradually slackening off each wire, net from its throat - you could hear and feel it gulp with relief. It soon bounded off to his mum though - much needing some milk and warmth.
The bees? Cutting a long story short, the bees turned out to be masonry bees that dont sting and they eventually moved on - my friend and I stayed in the b&b next door whilst the bees, took their time in relocating! Lots of bee jokes coming forth on my facebook page!
Lovely having my best friend from school here to stay - she flew from Scotland for a visit and for us to go to a school reunion. After the bee episode, we werent too sure we felt like going..but we did. It was interesting..looking at peoples faces to see if you recognised anyone.. people examining us too... funny! It was good although not too many from our school year so a little disappointing!
Saying goodbye to her today was hard.. sad.. Although we only keep in touch by phone occasionally, it was just like old times being together again.. would love to have her in my life more.
Spring sunshine abound...clear blue skies... jumping and noise lambs and their mums...
awaiting my love to come home, to reconnect after a few days absence... Namaste.
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Thursday, 7 April 2011
Womb versus Mind...powerful feminine...powerful masculine.
A week of endeavouring to rest, relax and re-energise following the dip last weekend. Have felt so tired and lethargic, low in energy, trying another short course of steroids. Hate the side effects I get at the beginning, the shakes, hunger, spacey feeling but these are now lessening.
Have been staying away from home at my loves' house in Wiltshire; being allowed to just be and sleep, eat, laugh, do whatever - whilst I am still doing work on my laptop, its wonderful to just let go and not have the usual 'responsibilities' of my cottage/milo..
Loving and deepening energies - often moving and over-whelming me (both of us at times)...we are very blessed to be sharing these moments of bliss. In fact, we have laughed as I have even 'swooned' a couple of times after our embraces! Just like in the movies! :)
Intimately, it is wonderful to be aware of the play of the feminine and masculine power...The phallace is so magical and powerful and it never ceases to amaze me that it has its own intelligence, knowing of what areas need clearing, cleansing, transforming energy with love and clarity. I have also noticed in our loving that there comes a point where my body/womb takes over and a power comes in that seems to want to take all of the masculine into her fully, to flood her - coaxing, teasing, pulling him in deeper and deeper, tempting him to release the masculine energy totally. My mind however, logical and 'sensible' coming in at just the right moment to lessen the energy, and to not allow the instinctual feminine her way.. unless She does... A wonderfully ecstatic sharing that seems to go on and on..
Namaste.
X
Have been staying away from home at my loves' house in Wiltshire; being allowed to just be and sleep, eat, laugh, do whatever - whilst I am still doing work on my laptop, its wonderful to just let go and not have the usual 'responsibilities' of my cottage/milo..
Loving and deepening energies - often moving and over-whelming me (both of us at times)...we are very blessed to be sharing these moments of bliss. In fact, we have laughed as I have even 'swooned' a couple of times after our embraces! Just like in the movies! :)
Intimately, it is wonderful to be aware of the play of the feminine and masculine power...The phallace is so magical and powerful and it never ceases to amaze me that it has its own intelligence, knowing of what areas need clearing, cleansing, transforming energy with love and clarity. I have also noticed in our loving that there comes a point where my body/womb takes over and a power comes in that seems to want to take all of the masculine into her fully, to flood her - coaxing, teasing, pulling him in deeper and deeper, tempting him to release the masculine energy totally. My mind however, logical and 'sensible' coming in at just the right moment to lessen the energy, and to not allow the instinctual feminine her way.. unless She does... A wonderfully ecstatic sharing that seems to go on and on..
Namaste.
X
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Phew! Cosmic happenings, energies...energies....powerful stuff.
Yesterday was an amazingly powerful day for me.. Woke up with Period pains..and the prospect of a days worth of massages to do for a hen party staying on the Farm. Set my meditation/treatment room up and when I began to start the first massage, my breathing got so bad..it got heavier and heavier, and it felt like the room was getting smaller and the walls closing in. Heaviness seemed to descend down, shadows drifted around and I became hotter and more agitated. I had to leave the client half way through, ended it early and explained that there was no way I could continue. I felt so guilty at letting them all down but there was no way I could physically do them.
Ironically, a friend that could have taken at least some of them over, had fallen down some stairs the day before, so I fought the urge to just crawl into my bed, and telephoned every therapist I knew of..but no one was available. Feeling guilty and ill, I considered just doing the bride to be..but really couldnt face it. My head now started to hurt, my vision was going and I felt so sick. Eventually I did find them a therapist for a few hours which calmed me down somewhat and I lay down and surrendered.
I rested in the meditation/treatment room, the shadows moved around the room..heavy energy. The back of my neck started to hurt and it felt like there was a mass of 'stuff' descending down onto me and entering my neck. I felt like I just wanted to escape and leave the planet - how much easier that would be? A couple of friends talked to me on the 'phone, encouraging me to rest, be with it all...allow and even asked for whatever was happening to be 'stepped down' to a more tolerable level. That seemed to work, the pain lessened and although energy was still streaming in and through, it was more gentle and I drifted off to sleep, hearing the beat in my ears that I often do.
I awoke and found that I just wanted to ground, went for a short walk, ate and drank a fizzy drink. I could feel the edge of the 'migraine' just waiting...but it didnt return with anything like the pain I had experienced earlier. I just didnt feel human really - my body had been taken over. My legs were all tingly, weak and sensitive and I didnt really want to talk to anybody - just hibernated.
Later someone told me that the planet/asteroid Chiron had come into play that morning (although some sites say it comes on 21st?)... I dont know a lot about astrology but it seemed important. Chiron concerns health and disease and their relationship to our spiritual journey through life. Health, disease are our teachers, Chiron calls the root cause, the Wound and says that the Wound contains a gift. The Healing journey is the process of discovering that gift. The Wound is healed when the Gift is embraced. I have yet to find out where Chiron is placed in my natal chart.
Also coming of the New Moon on Sunday - today... and even a thunder storm occuring over the Farm! Hmmm!! Powerful stuff!
Ironically, a friend that could have taken at least some of them over, had fallen down some stairs the day before, so I fought the urge to just crawl into my bed, and telephoned every therapist I knew of..but no one was available. Feeling guilty and ill, I considered just doing the bride to be..but really couldnt face it. My head now started to hurt, my vision was going and I felt so sick. Eventually I did find them a therapist for a few hours which calmed me down somewhat and I lay down and surrendered.
I rested in the meditation/treatment room, the shadows moved around the room..heavy energy. The back of my neck started to hurt and it felt like there was a mass of 'stuff' descending down onto me and entering my neck. I felt like I just wanted to escape and leave the planet - how much easier that would be? A couple of friends talked to me on the 'phone, encouraging me to rest, be with it all...allow and even asked for whatever was happening to be 'stepped down' to a more tolerable level. That seemed to work, the pain lessened and although energy was still streaming in and through, it was more gentle and I drifted off to sleep, hearing the beat in my ears that I often do.
I awoke and found that I just wanted to ground, went for a short walk, ate and drank a fizzy drink. I could feel the edge of the 'migraine' just waiting...but it didnt return with anything like the pain I had experienced earlier. I just didnt feel human really - my body had been taken over. My legs were all tingly, weak and sensitive and I didnt really want to talk to anybody - just hibernated.
Later someone told me that the planet/asteroid Chiron had come into play that morning (although some sites say it comes on 21st?)... I dont know a lot about astrology but it seemed important. Chiron concerns health and disease and their relationship to our spiritual journey through life. Health, disease are our teachers, Chiron calls the root cause, the Wound and says that the Wound contains a gift. The Healing journey is the process of discovering that gift. The Wound is healed when the Gift is embraced. I have yet to find out where Chiron is placed in my natal chart.
Also coming of the New Moon on Sunday - today... and even a thunder storm occuring over the Farm! Hmmm!! Powerful stuff!
Thursday, 31 March 2011
Gigs, sleepiness, body going through it..energies abound...
Been to a couple of gigs this week, the wonderful Nick Harper, who after coming on late was really good but unfortunately, I was sooo tired, I managed to drop off whilst standing up! Had to leave half way through his set. I also went to see Elbow at the O2 Arena on Monday - havent really heard them play before but they were fantastic and I really enjoyed it - managed to stay awake! Makes me want to go more live gigs... Seth Lakeman awaits in May (Swoon!)..anyone got a spare TT ticket?
Healthwise, my body seems to have been transforming something over the last few days.. been very tired, lethargic, sleeping a lot and generally feeling not myself. Last night in bed, every part of my skin seemed to be a mass of tingly, spines which were so sensitive to touch, I was hot but cold, I was tearful but giggly..
My womb couldnt seem to make up its mind whether it was to bleed or not..leaving me in some sort of limbo, not knowing what was happening, wanting it to decide one way or another..today it did decide to let go and bleed...allowing me to release the pent up energy thats been building in there the last week. Now I can feel I am returning to 'me'.
Breathing has been awful, chest is worsening and nothing seems to be making any improvements to it.. not giving up and exploring other options to try out.
All in all though, a wonderful week of deep loving, sleeping, great food, great music, steady workflow..and more sleeping.. Bliss! x
Healthwise, my body seems to have been transforming something over the last few days.. been very tired, lethargic, sleeping a lot and generally feeling not myself. Last night in bed, every part of my skin seemed to be a mass of tingly, spines which were so sensitive to touch, I was hot but cold, I was tearful but giggly..
My womb couldnt seem to make up its mind whether it was to bleed or not..leaving me in some sort of limbo, not knowing what was happening, wanting it to decide one way or another..today it did decide to let go and bleed...allowing me to release the pent up energy thats been building in there the last week. Now I can feel I am returning to 'me'.
Breathing has been awful, chest is worsening and nothing seems to be making any improvements to it.. not giving up and exploring other options to try out.
All in all though, a wonderful week of deep loving, sleeping, great food, great music, steady workflow..and more sleeping.. Bliss! x
Monday, 28 March 2011
Hmmm... no title...just hmmm!
Again, been a while since I wrote. Sat up in bed right now, listening to the birds outside and loving the feel of the duvet, sheets and pillows!
Over the weekend, was taken to do an activity that I rarely undertake and when I do hardly ever enjoy - Shopping! Even stranger to go around shops with a man, picking things out, asking me to try things on etc. I found it uncomfortable and I got self-conscious but I endeavoured to drop the thought and feelings surrounding this and to surrender and allow this man to give his love, to allow the gift of receiving! Felt lovely but still a little awkward for me. I know that to receive is allowing someone else the gift of giving...the buzz, the happiness that brings..but still hard to do.
Afterwards back to where I am more comfortable, amonst stone circles, woods, open countryside..exploring new places, sights and sounds. Breathing in the freshness of the air rather than the hustle and bustle of a busy city centre. Wonderful.
Soooo tired... have been sleeping lots over the last couple of weeks, but after the shopping trip, felt exhausted..the city centre, all those people, energy in shops etc drained me. Whilst the stones and countryside rejuvenated me a little, it wasnt enough and later had to come out of a Nick Harper gig, part way through becuase I was falling asleep on my feet! Not an easy thing to do with the music Nick was playing!
Today though, lazing in bed for the morning, feeling delicious after such tender loving over the last few days.
I have a blessed life! XX
Over the weekend, was taken to do an activity that I rarely undertake and when I do hardly ever enjoy - Shopping! Even stranger to go around shops with a man, picking things out, asking me to try things on etc. I found it uncomfortable and I got self-conscious but I endeavoured to drop the thought and feelings surrounding this and to surrender and allow this man to give his love, to allow the gift of receiving! Felt lovely but still a little awkward for me. I know that to receive is allowing someone else the gift of giving...the buzz, the happiness that brings..but still hard to do.
Afterwards back to where I am more comfortable, amonst stone circles, woods, open countryside..exploring new places, sights and sounds. Breathing in the freshness of the air rather than the hustle and bustle of a busy city centre. Wonderful.
Soooo tired... have been sleeping lots over the last couple of weeks, but after the shopping trip, felt exhausted..the city centre, all those people, energy in shops etc drained me. Whilst the stones and countryside rejuvenated me a little, it wasnt enough and later had to come out of a Nick Harper gig, part way through becuase I was falling asleep on my feet! Not an easy thing to do with the music Nick was playing!
Today though, lazing in bed for the morning, feeling delicious after such tender loving over the last few days.
I have a blessed life! XX
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Magical Deepenings...Earth Changes...
Witnessing the Earth's changes through social network sites like watching a disaster movie but you know its really happening, somewhere, out there... imagining what it must be like to be faced with a huge wall of water bearing down..not knowing which way to run to.
Would I take flight or would I just close my eyes and surrender to what was happening...let the universe decide? Would I suffer or would I transcend?
These changes have long been foretold. The solar flares were noted a little while ago and these are now being felt on Earth..lots of talk of polar shifts, super volcanic activity, mayan prophecy etc etc
Greg Braden - Magnectic Field
http://www.kairosastrology.co.uk/astro/?p=129
The Revolution...
No need for me to say anything else on this. More changes will happen... Videos say it all.
At the same time, over the weekend, I have been enveloped in a deepening love with a man that has been able to meet me ..reaching the depths of who I am as a physical woman as well as the cosmic I, energy body. I have seen again how the masculine energy comes through all man and I am blessed to be physically connected with Him in my loving with this particular man.
Our dance has been exquisite..leaving me breathless, fulfilled and radiant!
Truly blessed and honoured. Namaste.
X
Would I take flight or would I just close my eyes and surrender to what was happening...let the universe decide? Would I suffer or would I transcend?
These changes have long been foretold. The solar flares were noted a little while ago and these are now being felt on Earth..lots of talk of polar shifts, super volcanic activity, mayan prophecy etc etc
Greg Braden - Magnectic Field
http://www.kairosastrology.co.uk/astro/?p=129
The Revolution...
No need for me to say anything else on this. More changes will happen... Videos say it all.
At the same time, over the weekend, I have been enveloped in a deepening love with a man that has been able to meet me ..reaching the depths of who I am as a physical woman as well as the cosmic I, energy body. I have seen again how the masculine energy comes through all man and I am blessed to be physically connected with Him in my loving with this particular man.
Our dance has been exquisite..leaving me breathless, fulfilled and radiant!
Truly blessed and honoured. Namaste.
X
Monday, 7 March 2011
Loving deeply....cleansing bleed of old energies...allowing space for the new.
I've been unsure as to whether to write further and what I should be sharing right now... seems a lot of new energy is entering my life and I'm feeling just a wee bit over-whelmed. Thats ok and I am endeavouring to just allow it with surrender and openness.
A week or so of deep physical loving and connection that I have'nt touched with such depth for a while. It feels so sweet, amazing and yes, refreshing to be in the presence of a man that knows himself, knows what he wants and is confident in his authority as the masculine principle. Still a bit wary and watchful of the idea that this might stop after the 'honeymoon' period but enjoying every moment, surrendering and not getting into any thoughts, fears, projections.
Such as been the depth of being met that my bleed has come early and I am having such a powerful energy of cleansing out the 'old masculine energy', past energies, past hurt and emotions, let downs etc..seemingly draining me completely. I feel that my body, heart and womb is being emptied completely so that I can be free to receive nourishment of the new, depth of real man, completely.
There are moments of sheer bliss at being met deeply that are so sweet..I can taste the nectar in my throat... Thank you life!
Namaste..
x
A week or so of deep physical loving and connection that I have'nt touched with such depth for a while. It feels so sweet, amazing and yes, refreshing to be in the presence of a man that knows himself, knows what he wants and is confident in his authority as the masculine principle. Still a bit wary and watchful of the idea that this might stop after the 'honeymoon' period but enjoying every moment, surrendering and not getting into any thoughts, fears, projections.
Such as been the depth of being met that my bleed has come early and I am having such a powerful energy of cleansing out the 'old masculine energy', past energies, past hurt and emotions, let downs etc..seemingly draining me completely. I feel that my body, heart and womb is being emptied completely so that I can be free to receive nourishment of the new, depth of real man, completely.
There are moments of sheer bliss at being met deeply that are so sweet..I can taste the nectar in my throat... Thank you life!
Namaste..
x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)