Monday 23 September 2013

A Journey of Woman: All clear..but there was another reason to go to h...

A Journey of Woman: All clear..but there was another reason to go to h...: Well today I was given the 'all clear' ...the hospital scans didnt show up any blood clots so I can now stop injecting myself with b...

All clear..but there was another reason to go to hospital! Such synchronicities! :)

Well today I was given the 'all clear' ...the hospital scans didnt show up any blood clots so I can now stop injecting myself with blood thinners :)  Fatigue has subsided today to  - so I have just made an Apple Pie with fresh apples from the orchards!  :)

BUT...there was a reason I was in hospital today.. The nurse was taking down my medical history and when I mentioned the RP, she put her pen down and looked at me. 

I had a shiver go through me and a download of energy and asked her what was wrong.   She was having cartliage issues herself and was having trouble getting a diagnosis...ah I said...thats why I am here then!  But the 'coincidence' didnt stop there... she asked me who my consultant was in london...as I said Dr D Cruz..she laughed and said she had just heard about him from her dental nurse.  I had another download of energy and said..right this is why I am here today!   It was my turn to laugh... this dental nurse you go to  is she in Evesham by any chance?   Yes she said...my god..its you...   Yes!  I laughed! ...I had told the dental nurse about Dr D Cruz a whilst back as her mother was having similar symptoms..  As it turned out, the nurses had had a conversation about 'me' last week...and the mother was now getting sorted out and the recommendation of Dr Cruz was passed on!     Thats how it works!

We were both pretty shocked but then again I wasnt...it was all perfect.  Interestingly, she had once lived i the same village as I do now..it does make me wonder if there is something environmental causing this increase in auto-immune issues!  I shared some hints, and discussed the fatigue that comes with auto immune stuff etc and she shared her progress thus far with the local rheumys...and she also felt that there would be no blood clots in my system but that we had to go through the motions.  

We hugged each other warmly as I left and she thanked me for having passed on the info.     This again is another confirmation that life does work out...flow as its meant to...regardless of how it seems at times. On Saturday I was so tired and was feeling pretty 'alone' with it all...I had also heard that day that my sister had got blood clots in her lungs and was having blood thinners.  But I knew at the same time, I was okay...it was body mind stuff and I am so much more than that.   It was empowering to me to be able to self inject so easily and there was a knowing that whatever symptoms I was showing of clots was really just my cells transforming..

Grateful thanks to the NHS yet again!

Namaste
X




Sunday 22 September 2013

A Journey of Woman: St Francis Synchroncities, Blood clots and full ci...

A Journey of Woman: St Francis Synchroncities, Blood clots and full ci...: Well since my last post, much has transpired.  Visiting friends in Devon a couple of weeks ago, we watched The Celestine Prophecy - based ...

St Francis Synchroncities, Blood clots and full circles?

Well since my last post, much has transpired. 

Visiting friends in Devon a couple of weeks ago, we watched The Celestine Prophecy - based on the books which we had read many years ago.  I was not expecting much to be honest..but nearly fell off the sofa when within the first few minutes there were references to St Francis..the statue, a Franciscan priest, the red peace lily...  At the end of the film, the three of us just looked at each other...acknowledging the vastness of how humanity is evolving..how we are all part of that evolution. 

What is this about St Francis?  Before I went to bed, I googled St Francis, UK..and I shouted with surprise!  There was a Fransican monastery on the path leading from the chalet I used to live in - still visit!  Glasshampton Monastry in Worcestershire.  When I lived there, I had walked the path through the woods to their garden, and loved the stained glass windows, statues etc..but hadnt entered.  After that, I did more research on St Francis and discovered he was a 'playboy'of sorts..that he was ill twice and then devoted himself to serve god. He gave..and in that he received.  I have since written to the Brothers at Glasshampton and have been invited to spend a day with them.

Anyway..on my journey back home from Devon, I listened to a satsang of Bernie's...the cd suddenly jumped and stopped...on came the radio..blasting out an old '80's song by Belinda Carlisle - guess which one!  "Heaven is a place on Earth".   I laughed so!

Last week's visit to London surgeon went okay..not too concerned as my breathing in tests has been good..but do have to return in October for scans and more tests to examine the trachea closer. 

Seems that my body is doing its 'thing' right now as this weekend, I have been 'grounded' at home once more...on Friday following concern from my osteopath, I was in hospital with suspected blood clots..in the same place in my leg/groin as all those years ago..which started my spiritual awakening!  Full circle.. I reckon they are being over cautious and feel they wont find anything in my scan on Monday.  However, here I am, self-injecting myself with blood thinners - how far I have come in these sixteen years!  From refusing treatment, needle phobic to self injecting!  Feeling so empowered and today writing again. 

Now reading up on Mary Magdalene, St Pio and St Theresa....not sure where all this is leading but following the pull.  I am not going to become a devote Christian, a nun....but still.   I have chosen the path of relationship..lets see how it unfolds! 

Namaste
X







Thursday 12 September 2013

Never ending deepening, fully living regardless of the body!

I have just returned from another retreat with Bernie...yet again I am amazed at the depths I am touching..it truly is endless.  Even as I re listened to the audio yesterday, there was an even deeper knowing, from another point, another level of being...it's like I am a giant kaleidoscope - I am!  This is so hard to put into words! 

I cried with the enormity of this multi dimensional reality, the vastness and the responsibility of knowing that....and then I can hear a call for 'more..ready for the next'..which makes me laugh at the same time as the crying!

Seeing  the potential for the evolution of humanity..It is a choice less choice now...I give over everything!  Thy will be done!

In amongst all this, this body mind is doing it's thing...hospital next week as there is some concern about my trachea again...I will go, take the tests, listen to the consultants views.  And yet I feel wonder filled!  I have not 'felt' this well for a long time regardless of what may appear on scans of this body!   

I get on with life..and allow it to move me...

Amongst the many many things I heard at the weekend with Bernie, one discussion that humbled me which seems fitting for this blog entry is transcribed below:

"He is shattered..I am shattered...what a wonderful state...there is pain in my body..I am wonderfully shattered.  I get on a plane and the shattering says "I can't do this" ... I say "p off shattering, I am going".  I will attend to it when I have time to.

Get in your new body...do you really think you need to look after your body..?  Yes I do when I do...but the real looking after your body is being true.  Whilst you are being true, the very genetics of humanity are being changed by a higher power. 

Any realiser has something happening in their body.  There have been some great realisers that have died of all manner of cancers and things.  Things move in the body when you begin to become who you really are...there is transformation on every level.  So look after your body but live fully!"



A life threatening blood clot woke this one up..suddenly!  Such transformation took place at that time, it changed my life utterly and completely. It led me to search for more and I then met Bernie.  At my first retreat with Bernie, I entered the cosmos, the deathband and realised immortality.  Shortly after that, a few months of living with him, I was diagnosed with severe anaemia..the doctors were puzzled because they couldn't find a cause for it, nor could they understand how I was even walking as the blood count was so low.  Bernie told me they would never find the cause - as my DNA had changed.  This I now know.. On so many levels.

Illness and unusual diagnoses have been a major part of my journey...they have led me to so many paths, situations and people that I wouldn't have encountered otherwise.  Such transformation is a gift.  I am grateful  for all of it! 

So!  If Bernie can get on an airplane exhausted with his body calling for rest..then I can also...it is what I am being called to do!    

Namaste
X

ps.  Bernie is now in South Africa with a team of teachers of The Form that have been sharing CosmoForm around the townships.  I have been so in awe by how they are touching many in this way...truly humbling.  Please check out what are they doing here:

http://www.cosmoforminitiative.org/

Wednesday 4 September 2013

Autumn coming, accidents and writing..writing...writing! :)

A few weeks since I last blogged.  I woke up this morning to see that mist was covering the valley, the sun was warm and it was burning through so the mist was swirling above the lakes.  Beautiful and a reminder that autumn is around the corner!

I had an accident a couple of weeks ago, tripping over a broken manhole cover. Split toe, bruising, cuts and grazes...all bandaged up, limping and achey but it could have been so much worse.  I felt grateful for that.  So with little choice but to rest up whilst I heal,  I have been writing, writing, writing.

  I have never written so much before and it has just flowed.  I have written about my journey, my first spiritual awakening when I nearly died from a blood clot right the way through my living with a spiritual master to the recent retreat in Tuscany.    It's been quite a journey, at times I questioned why I was writing about the 'past'.  There have been tears, many shakes of my head and a recognition of how others have played their part in this journey.

It was 'completed' yesterday, the final draft page written as my moon time coming into flow.  Perfect timing!  Now we will see how it all unfolds.

Namaste
X