.... I am going through heaps...shedding so much.. in tears.. have to let go to what is..and accept. its no good keep asking why..it hurts so much. I love so deeply and open..so powerful and have to die to the pain of not being met/seen...
Having spent a few more days with a man whom I love, I finally admit and accept that we must part our paths for good... god, just writing the words, makes my stomach lurch and I have a pain in my chest.. but I know its right..and clear.
This man is not for me, not ready, cannot step through, fall in whatever... he speaks of finding the torture of regret, past attachment, guilt, his head a comfort! he believes its his identity.. ..thinking that that somehow confirms his existence.. maybe the beauty he experienced with this woman scared him, threatens his attchement to his past, inviting him to fall into the unknown.... he cannot.. cannot take the opportunity that has presented to him at this time...he doesnt love..cant love.
So.. I must let him go..for to hold is fruitless, causing me to suffer not being seen or met fully by the man I love..
I surrdender to this.. and let him go on his journey... for he must go his own way...
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