mmmmmmm!

Today, feeling 'not really here'.... head is swimmy, if I close my eyes, I swirl and swirl.....falling deeper...  body is still coming to its bleed..stopping and starting...  endeavouring to let go!

Writing this is somehow, keeping me more present..

Went for a short walk into the woods with Milo...whilst I rested I watched him take great delight in playing with a stick he found by the split tree. He was chewing it, tossing it around, pawing it so it moves..and prancing around with his tail high! Made me smile... and then.. he would catch me watching him. He would get self-conscious and stop and look all nervous!

Surely thats not a natural state for a dog? self-consciousness is something us humans have learned. It felt a shame...am animal, meant to be so free and untethered, having learned a human characteristic.. or maybe I was just seeing something that wasnt there.

Anyway...when I turned away, he would remember his stick and start up his game again.

A gentle walk back..in the sunshine, picking fresh cherries and raspberries for breakfast....mmmmm!